I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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