never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
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I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
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It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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