i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm bleeding and have questions
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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