Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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