I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
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