the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When are your genitals available?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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