All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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