ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize