my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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