Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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