It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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