someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize