fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You took a bar mat shot.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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