He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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