This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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