Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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