why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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