He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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