they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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