I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Sext me about skeletons
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize