so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
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Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
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Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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