yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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