I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize