oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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