My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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