for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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