I just threw up on my dentist
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize