She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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