You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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