Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize