dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
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