Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
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You can't just leave with hair like that
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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