OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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