Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize