So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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