Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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