AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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