She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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