I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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