She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize