Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
soo... how was my night?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize