I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize