I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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