you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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