Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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