Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
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we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
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Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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