He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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