garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize