Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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