My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Blow job season was short but glorious.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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